The Boys of Summer continue roll along - for the latest please see our website.
Interviewing Mom (In Dallas) * June 26, 2004
Bob:
What’d you think of the news tape videos?
Mom:
I thought they were great. I thought it showed your purpose, what you’re doing, your love of your father, which is special.
Bob:
What do you think about the degeneration dad is going through because of Parkinson’s?
Mom:
Breaks my heart. Absolutely, breaks my heart. Even not being with him for a week, probably because I’m with him all the time, I can see the degeneration. I always knew it was there, but i’m used to being with him all the time. And I think that’s why it’s so hard to be separated from him because there will be just more and more degeneration.
Bob:
When did you first begin to notice the changes in dad?
Mom:
Well it was such a hard time because I was diagnosed with breast cancer and he was diagnosed a week later with PD. So the reality was that my disease took immediate steps with surgery and chemotherapy. And dad took the role of caretaker for me. I think that took the eyes off of him. What I noticed about him, even at that time, was that his gait was different. I could hear him walking and hear the sounds his steps were making on the hardwood floor. I was probably too consumed in my own world at that time to notice that first, but I began to notice more and more. I noticed the facial, the lack of facial expression. The smile, with one side of his face drooping down. The slowness of his left hand. And then the whole body being so much slower. The thought processes being so much slower. The stamina, not having the stamina he used to have. Not being able to complete tasks. He’s a very handy person and he likes to fix things. But things are much harder for him to do. And I think he loses interest, so...I don’t know...I was just watching it happen. It probably took a whole year of watching for me to realize, because I was so consumed by my disease, the differences. I’d say, we’re into the third year now, over the last year I’ve noticed some marked differences and they seem to be progressing. And I don’t know -- they seem faster to me. Maybe because I’m so much more aware, I watch him more closely. And I’m just heart broken -- I’m absolutely heartbroken about this disease.
Bob:
What does baseball mean to you?
Mom:
Baseball makes me smile, and mainly because of you. When I grew up, my father loved baseball. And he was always listening on the radio. We’d be listening to the Raineers who played at Sick Seattle Stadium, it was not a Major League team. And we just loved baseball. He was a coach for my brothers. There was always baseball around our house.
I got into the A’s, mainly when you and Jonny O would go to the games. Of course we had the great Bash Brothers and, you know, it was getting more and more fun to watch. Then you taught me how to read the box scores. And I really got into it. And when I went to work, I’d turn the game on the radio. I’d come home from work and I’d tell dad, “You’ve got to turn on the game.”
I really, really enjoy the game now, too. I’m not as avid of a fan as you and dad, but I do enjoy the A’s. I love the story of our team. I’m looking forward to seeing the other stadiums. I think it’s a great game and I love that it’s a great game for families. Moms, dads and children there. It’s kind of that fourth of July, apple pie, American -- it’s our game. And I feel very proud to be an American and be at a game and have a hot dog and root for our team. It’s a great, great thing and it makes me very happy.
Bob:
Do you have a favorite player?
Mom:
Eckersley was my guy back in the late 80’s. He was such a great closer. Your heart was pounding and you’d just know he was going to do it.
Bob:
What do you think about having to take care of dad?
Mom:
I honestly get fearful that I won’t be able to do it. He was there for me when I had cancer and I so much want to be there for him. I want to be there in positive ways. I tend to over nurture him and bug the heck out of him. I want to be the kind of caretaker that he needs and wants. It breaks my heart. I just have to pray that we’ll have some research in his lifetime that he will be able to experience some help.
My plan is to take care of him as long as I can in our home. Put a ramp in the family room, do whatever I have to do. But right now, what I need to do is live one day at a time. I need to make myself strong, build my physical strength up and my mental strength for him and for myself. It’s sad because I even see now that I’m losing part of him and it breaks my heart. He’s the love of my life. I’ve been in love with him for 40 years. But I’m grateful for every day we have together. And I want to make them count. I want to have fun, I don’t want to make things change so that he feels like he’s an invalid.
We’re going to get into a support group -- we’ve got to read and learn, meet lots of people. Who knows what this trip is going to mean? Just look at the people we met Friday night. Wow. To talk to Mitch was comforting to me. He’s had the disease about the same amount of time and he’s on a different medication so maybe it’s not so scary for dad to move on to the next level. But you know we’re going to keep rockin’ and rolling and singing and dancing and -- it may be chair dancing, if we have to. He was so sweet last night, when we were at Pete’s, he said: ‘I’m so glad we didn’t miss many rock and roll dances in our lifetime. That’s very important to us. And...we may be doing chair dancing for a while, but that’s okay.
Bob:
Do you think you might give dad lap dances?
Mom:
(laughs)
Yeah. That would be his dream.
The Boys of Summer continue roll along - for the latest please see our website.
No comments:
Post a Comment