Tuesday, October 18, 2011

Boys of Summer Book - Entry #69

BC:
Do you remember the first time you and Todd went to a ball game together?
DP:
I can remember it. It was in Oakland, it was the most phenomenal experience. Because we had a tailgate party. There was you and your father, your family, my family. We walked in and we had the time of our lives. It was a super  experience. 
BC:
So Todd was all of about 10?
DP:
Yes.
BC:
What was Todd like as a player?
DP:
I started him too early. He was a good -- very solid player. Had all the functionality, was able to move left, right, was able to read the ball but he was about two years too young. 
BC:
How do you know that?
DP:
Because he couldn’t relate to the other players on the field because they were two years his senior. He was that good in his abilities. It broke my heart though because there were plays that were put on him and there were just “young issues” that crept up on him. He was  a great baseball player, he still is. He’s everything that I wish I could be. 
BC:
Would he have been a better player had he waited?
DP:
Well, I should have kept him back into a junior league where he would have really excelled. I, like a lot of parents, had a lot of ego and he was good and people pushed me and we brought him up.
BC:
What was the relationship like with you as coach as well as father?
DP:
I was never the direct coach, I was always the assistant coach. And we had a few issues simply because, and this is going to sound real bad, I firmly believe I know how to read talent. And reading talent, you have to understand the capabilities and the non-capabilites, regardless of if it’s family, coach’s son, etc. I did not agree that the coach’s son should get preferential treatment and that’s where I got into issues.  However, it never happened with Todd. Todd played where he liked playing and that happened through discussions with him at that age. What was he comfortable with? He did not like pitching. But he loved short stop, loved third base. He loved second base. And he moved on the ball accordingly.
BC:
Did you go to ball games with your dad when you were a kid?
DP:
Nope. We didn’t have baseball in Canada.
BC:
When was your introduction to baseball?
DP:
When I first joined the bank. The only way to meet my peers outside of the office setting was in the bank league. Softball -- not baseball. Then we go drink a couple of beers and go home. 
BC:
What do you think about people who say that baseball is an American game?
DP:
I think baseball definitely is an American game. Growing up in Canada, baseball (until you get to the big cities) is not an experience. However, softball is a huge experience. And it is all over Canada. Baseball is selective. We came back from the states and we had baseball coaches that still tried to teach softball attitudes.  That bothered me. I was an umpire because that was the closest I wanted to get. I didn’t like the politics. 
However, baseball in Canada, the big leagues...we had a team in Toronto known as the Blue Jays, the best damned team in baseball and they were two years in a row (1992 & 1993 World Series Champions). Guess what happened? After we won two World Series, we disbanded that very team. My question is, why did we disband when we had multiple seasons of full attendance. 54,000 people every game of the year. The number one attendance record in America. And guess what? We disbanded the team. My question is, and it’s very simple, were they told that baseball has to go back into America?
BC:
So it couldn’t have been an economic issue because they were selling out...
DP:
Absolutely. And did baseball want to back to get back to Chevrolet, Apple pie...
BC:
We had the strike. How much did that have to do with it?
DP:
Nothing. I don’t believe in that. I believe that higher powers said that there are higher powers that said there are more people in America, baseball is an American sport -- which it is...well, I don’ t know whether or not that is where it was born, but, it did go back to America. And guess what? We’ve been the Blow Jays ever since. 
BC:
What was it like for Todd when you moved the family back to Canada?
DP:
As a teenager, he did his own thing, as most teenage boys do. But I was never a more proud father than when he was playing baseball...softball...to just go out and watch him do his thing. He was so much better than I ever was. And I was just so proud that I had created this being that could do what he did and do it so effectively. 
BC:
Now that you’re a grandfather (of his new son as well as your daughters children), what do you think he is going through?
DP:
He has said it and he has said it in spades he wants me to be proud. And you think I’m not proud? I might cry. Yeah I’m proud. My son’s got a beautiful wife. He’s got a beautiful life. And they’re going to have a baby. And I’m excited. Whatever comes is sort of “que ser a, ser a”.
BC:
You said one of the things you had to learn as a father was to say, “I love you”.
DP:
One of the biggest problems that fathers have with their sons, especially when sons go awry, is to get past the madness and still tell them that you love them. I’ve always loved him. I never liked Todd during his “off years”, but I always loved him. And until I showed him and told him that I loved him, we were still apart. But once I told him I loved him, he has never left my side. 
BC:
Tell me about that night that he got up and spoke in front of everyone.
DP:
Our 25th wedding anniversary, he was unexpectedly challenged in front of a group of about 80 people, in a backyard/swimming pool setting. And he said, in essence, I’ve been away, I’ve done a lot of things that I’m not proud of and I am now home and I want to be to my father what he was to his father. And everyone said, “What’s that?” And he said, “Best friends”. I told him I loved him and I’ve never lost him. 
BC:
Talk to me about the first time you met my dad.
DP:
Your father is a treat...I’ll never forget, the first time I met him, watching him struggle with his 8-track tape, which he could not get to feed properly. And I saw a side of your father that nobody has ever seen since. This man got -- he was going to kill that tape. But that was all that he could ever kill. 
He was the funniest, most laid back individual that I had ever met in my life. And with that, I’m a very aggressive individual. And, you’d think that two opposites would be relatively slow to warm up. And we were, but as we started to see the values of each other, and we both have values, he saw stuff that he could draw from with me and I with him. Our sons and daughters were relatively the same age so he was drawing parallels -- how do you do this? How do you do that? Not that he was going to take whatever I said to be correct. But it was just a checkboard, a balance board. And we were both working in the finance industry. Duh. Does it take much more? 
It’s just a slow-burning, acknowledged friendship. He is one of the nicest guys I’ve ever met. He, to me, at times becomes a controlling influence because, as I said, I’m the aggressive type. He’s just a good friend. I respect him to the nth. He is a s smart as a whip. I can bounce questions off him. And if he doesn’t know, he’ll find out, he’ll come back. And vice versa. We don’t challenge each other. But then we do challenge each other -- what are you doing? How are you doing this? 
When we moved away, it broke my heart. Boys do not make close friends if they do at all. It felt like I broke up with a girlfriend when I went back to Canada. Call it simple. That’s all I am. We’ve kept in touch. We’ve vacationed together. We enjoy each other’s company and there’s never a ruffle. And when I heard about your mother and then about your father we were dumbstruck. Your mother is now getting solidly better. Your father, we know where he is with his Parkinson’s. I just  hope and pray that I can bring the joys to his life that he deserves. 
BC:
First time you saw my dad after hearing he had been diagnosed (with PD), what were the changes you noticed?
DP:
I saw the slowness move in. I saw the arm. I saw -- did I see anything else? The look -- definitely. Sort of a stare. Like me when I’m in a trance. He would focus on something and he would stare at it and it would be a total stare but he heard everything around him. But he was locked in. 
However, I have to tell you, as a trooper, both of us were equal handicaps in California and we were good golfers together. You know what, I give him a few strokes now. But you know what ? The S.O.B. still beats me. He is, even with his malady, will never give up. Together we found a chipping phenomenon. We found his small motor muscles do not react effectively with his brain. He does a lot of chunking, a lot of skulling. What I suggested he do is take a putting stroke which uses big arm muscles. Guess what? He emailed me that he had won a tournament with a partner in San Francisco and he said, you know what? Your tip worked. We won the whole damned thing. Those are friends. I was elated. Just for him, the excitement. 
He has taken himself with his PD, he doesn’t want people to be sad for him. He just wants to be there, he wants to be Dan, proud Dan. And proud Dan -- I had him working so hard when he came up here. But guess what? I couldn’t have done anything without him. And that’s proud Dan. He wants to be proud of who he is, where he is regardless of what he is. 
BC:
You obviously love him, if for whatever reason, this was the last time you got to see him, have you said everything you wanted to say?
DP:
I’ve always said everything I wanted to say. There’s nothing I ever hold back. I kiss him. Simple as that. 




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