April 30, 2006 - Bob
Walnut Creek, CA
The day mom and dad got back, mom said “I’m just going to lie down for a moment”. It seems like a natural enough thing to say unless you understand my mom. She has code words/phrases/actions that indicate she’s feeling depressed. The weird thing is she says or does them and doesn’t see the connection. Annamaria and I knew right away what this meant: she’s probably going down for a while.
May 1, 2006 - Mom
Walnut Creek, CA
Overall, I did enjoy Florida very much. The Keys were beautiful. It was hard when dad was in such pain with his hip and back.
When we got back Esther (our neighbor of 31 years and very close friend) was scheduled surgery. I am very scared about that. She’s like an older sister to me.
Bob asked me about my lying down in bed during the day. He said he was concerned I may be going into depression. I’ve made an agreement not to sleep in my bed during the day as that’s been an indication of my depression in the past. I honestly just felt tired.
June 1, 2006 - Mom
Walnut Creek, CA
Esther and Suzanne (neighbors) were talking to me a lot -- doing some praying. They are very concerned for me. (My sister) Denise’s e-mail scared me. I feel like I am frustrating everyone. I’m scared I may lose everyone. I don’t know what to do. I definitely don’t want to go back to Kaiser.
