Window of Opportunity

The Boys of Summer roll along, but we need your help to complete this year's journey. Please see our site for the latest on how to contribute. Thank you!

Our beloved Oakland A's pulled off a huge trade on Friday, landing two top-tier starting pitchers for the elite price of two top prospects and a pitcher who has started for the A's this year, but, by most accounts, was falling out of favor. Why give up these top two prospects, though - one of whom is considered top-10 in all of Major League Baseball? Because the time to win is now.

Next question: what does this have to do with Parkinson's Disease and the Boys of Summer? The time for my dad to maximize his health is now, too. We're running parallel in that regard with our favorite team. Their are windows of opportunity in life that one has to accomplish certain goals. Those windows do not remain open forever. There are costs for passing through them. It can be painful, expensive and frightening as what's on the other side is not guaranteed. But neither is what's on the other side. Change is a constant.

The A's have had a great run over the last three years, winning the AL West in dramatic and exciting fashion. They have the best club in baseball, via their record, coming into the All-Star Break. It doesn't matter, as the prize is the ring in October. My dad has, by most accounts we have seen, stayed ahead of the curve in regard to managing his PD. He's done lots of interesting and out-of-the box treatments during his 13 years of being diagnosed -- but never something this intensive. Why now? Because he was falling behind and we knew it.

There was a man named John Trudeau we met in Detroit during our 2004 Boys of Summer journey. He was incredibly kind to us, offering us a place to stay and allowing us to interview him for the film, despite his body being racked with pain from Parkinson's and Lymphadema. One of the most striking things he said to my dad, he said when the cameras stopped rolling: "Don't let the disease eat you." My dad has taken that to heart and we've talked about that quite a bit. This year, he felt the disease was starting to eat him. So he's gone all in with this treatment with Dr. DeMartino. He's made significant changes in his diet, added lots of specific supplements and had four treatments a week over the last two months, living in Las Vegas for six weeks straight now. Why all this effort and sacrifice for something that is as unknown as what he's doing (and know that "a cure" has been taken off the table - the World Series ring here is pain reduction and a boost in quality of life)? Because my dad has decided he wants to live - and what he was sliding into back in the spring was feeling less and less like any kind of life he wanted.

So go A's - go all in, Billy Beane (Oakland A's General Manager). This is our year. Thankfully, you're not fool enough to think the A's will just keep winning and giving themselves a chance. Change is much too constant a bitch. We're all in, too, and we'll be measuring our success alongside our beloved Green and Gold.

The Boys of Summer roll along, but we need your help to complete this year's journey. Please see our site for the latest on how to contribute. Thank you!

Looking back, moving forward

One of the criticisms the original “Boys of Summer” received was that my father and I got along too well. Yes, I’m being serious. From the standpoint of purely selling tickets and DVD’s, I get it; general audiences find more immediate interest in rich housewives arguing than they do an average American father and son dealing with a devastating disease diagnosis in a positive manner – in our case, by road-tripping to all 30 Major League Baseball parks.

Though that criticism stung when I first heard it, particularly from potential distributors, I see it more clearly now. I can see where people wouldn’t understand the work my father and I put in to our relationship to make it what it is today. Being blood-related is not enough to make one interested in a meaningful relationship. There are many, many assumed relationships by blood that don’t carry much meaning in the individuals lives. My dad, wisely, kindly and lovingly realized he wanted more from our relationship when I was 20 years old and away at college. That’s when he first proposed we go to all the ballparks, though it was a more modest manner at the time – we’d go to a few each summer. We did that for two summers, hitting seven ballparks (Chicago(2), Detroit, Milwaukee, New York Yankee, Boston and Philadelphia) in two very short trips. These were amazing trips and they meant the world to my dad and me.

Life got busy with my graduation, dad’s retirement and various plans, so we set the plan to see the parks on hold. In 2000, after six years of living the Hollywood grind, I felt like I had lost myself. I divorced my life and fled to the desert. My goal in moving to Las Vegas just shy of turning 30 was to figure “it” out – either I’d flame out from excess, gambling, drinking, women, etc. or I’d find out what I really wanted to be when I grew up. I dealt 21, I became Caesar, but most importantly, I did figure out some very important things about me. I knew for sure my path of being a filmmaker was far from over; it just didn’t necessarily have to run through Hollywood.

In 2001, after another difficult relationship breakup, I returned to the Bay Area to make my directorial debut with a very personal film called, “the long road home”. In it, the main character was dealing with calling off a much-hyped wedding, the sudden death of a controversial mentor in a high school football coach and a stale relationship with his father. I gave the script to my mom and dad to read. While the film is not auto-biographical, it is derivative, so I was nervous as I knew they’d see pieces of themselves in the script. My dad said it was the best script I’d ever written. Not only that, he backed the film with a loan to ensure it happened. My parents both okayed the use of their house as my production hub and a practical location for shooting. These were all incredible gifts I couldn’t have made the film without.

One month before production was set to begin, my dad was diagnosed with Parkinson’s Disease. I really didn’t understand what that meant. I had heard of it, but, again, didn’t know what it meant. My dad wasn’t too concerned. Whatever was happening wasn’t stopping him from doing anything or being who he wanted to be at that time. Two weeks later, my mom’s diagnosis with breast cancer was a different story. This stopped them in their tracks. She was going to get aggressive chemotherapy as the cancer had advanced. Even so, that wouldn’t begin for several months, and they restated their blessing for me to make the film.

The process was an incredible journey physically, mentally and spiritually. Making the film taxed me in a way almost nothing else has. As director, producer, writer and lead actor I was pulled in every direction at once. I needed autonomy after seeing my first two films fall short of my expectations, at least in part, because of some of the people involved. My parents gave me that respect – not at all blindly, but based on who I was and what I’d done to that point. I had completed a circle, taking a long road home to get back to zero and reassess where I was going next.

Three weeks into a four week shoot, my dad woke me up, saying, “You better come take a look at this.” I walked, sleepy-eyed, into the front room just in time to see a plane hit the second of the twin towers. It didn’t look real. I couldn’t comprehend what I was seeing. We were glued to the television, like millions of others around the world. The thing that moved me from the set was the immediate demand by certain talking heads for accountability – like the situation was immediately clear and that punitive action toward those people would make a difference. I walked away.

On 9/4/11, we shot a scene from “the long road home” at the Oakland Airport. We literally walked past all security, to the gate, with me even walking onto a jetway to make it look like I was exiting a plane, in order to get our shots for the film. We were clandestine at first, shooting out of duffle bags and wearing wireless lavalier mics. But after a few hours and without receiving anything more than a raised eyebrow from anyone official, we started to shoot more openly. We got a great opening scene. We were very likely the last people to ever be able to shoot in an airport with that kind of access and freedom.

Near the end of the film, near the end of my character’s (Bo) journey on screen, he has begun to wake up to some new truths about himself and his surroundings. As he’s packing, preparing to leave and go back to his new adult home, he asks his father a painful question. That scene is here.

This scene, too, was inspired by a real life conversation with my dad. It wasn’t this exact dialogue, except for the part where dad answered a tough question with “I love you very much”. It was the only answer he could give and, after I calmed down, it gave me a tremendous window of understanding into my dad; we’re not the same, we’re not always going to see eye-to-eye and that is, more than okay, great. By respecting each others differences and honoring each other as the people we are for the things we do, even if we don’t necessarily understand or agree with everything, we have drawn closer to each other. Interestingly, after growing up as political opposites, we have both drawn closer to the middle – not saying that’s the right way to think, but in our hours and hours of conversations that span everything (and I do mean everything), the exchange of ideas has been comforting, enlightening and healing.

If you’d like to see “the long road home” in its entirety, it can be found here. It got some very nice comments won some awards in its brief festival run – I simply ran out of money to push it so I moved on to my next project. Thank you and I look forward to your comments.

On the road...again

The Boys of Summer - Second Base, sequel to the award-winning first documentary, began principal photography on March 13, 2014. We need your help. Please visit our kickstarter page and share it with your friends and family.

 
Traveling back to the Bay Area is cathartic, scary and soul-enriching all at once. This weekend my family took its longest road-trip to date, from Las Vegas to Walnut Creek, CA and did brilliantly.

It's honestly hard to quantify all that we packed into this weekend+, but I'll list a few things that are resonating in my tired head as I ponder sleeping in the bed in the room I grew up in for one more night -- for now.

*Arriving at 1am and being greeted by my very tired but grateful parents.
*Spending the day in San Francisco on our first day here. My son eating clam chowder out of a sourdough bread bowl, as he'd only imagined was possible. Visiting Baker Beach, holding hands with my wife as we looked at the Golden Gate and felt the sand between our toes. Watching our son play in the sand and say, "I really like the beach".
*Shooting the new poster for the Boys of Summer sequel. I'll post more on this later as I need some votes and opinions as to which should be the photo to go with.
*Watching an A's game with my good friend Jonathan Okanes at a local dive bar. The A's won in dramatic, walk-off fashion and Coco Crisp got a pie in the face from Josh Reddick (Pie-derman!).
*Having lunch at an old favorite restaurant in Concord and hearing our son declare that Concord, as a whole, was a boring city.
*Daring a downpour to get to an A's game. Fighting for credentials, a good parking spot and eventually our way into the stadium and down onto the field as the rain stopped and we prepared for a brilliant night. Listening to the boos explode from the crowd about a half hour after the game was supposed to start when the PA announcer declared the game was cancelled due to poor field conditions.
*Seeing a group of great friends and some of their kids at a local park.
*Visiting with my dear Aunt, Uncle and Cousin for precious few minutes in my parents backyard.
*Attending a Hall of Fame dinner for the 1987 Ygnacio Valley basketball team I was a part of -- a team that shocked the world and somehow played for the state championship.
*Lying on the couch with my wife, watching some familiar reruns of Modern Family and feeling time slip away from this beautiful experience.

Baseball is a vehicle. It's part of what brought us here. I'm pulling at the metaphor as it's not all that brought us here, but it was enough to ensure the "necessity" of the trip -- in other words, the motivation that got us to go from idea to execution. That bridge is not to be underestimated. How many ideas, some we swear to be remarkable, never make it past the gatekeepers in our mind or the conversations of fancy with friends, co-workers and loved ones?

Baseball is a vehicle. I don't know where we're headed with this year's venture. We have three days left in our kickstarter and have raised only $200 of the $10,000 we need. It's not likely we're going to raise what we need to make that go - I get that. But I won't quit. I'm scared. I'm disappointed. I'm frustrated. But I'm a long way from quitting. I don't know how to quit. I don't want to. As I told my dad tonight at the Hall of Fame dinner, "We'll make it by hook or crook". Whatever it takes.

Spring Training - Cactus '14 (part one)

The Boys of Summer - Second Base, sequel to the award-winning first documentary, began principal photography on March 13, 2014. We need your help. Please visit our kickstarter page and share it with your friends and family.

 Simply making the trip to Phoenix was a big deal. For anyone who's ever been on a family road trip, particularly from the parental side, or if you've seen National Lampoon's Vacation, you know what I mean. We loaded up our metallic green Town & Country minivan to the hilt, strapped in the kids (no Aunt Edna), and headed south. I got us there, but thankfully the rest of the car was sleeping or they would have to endure and, worse, probably would have questioned my unintentional scenic route that added roughly an hour to a journey that didn't need it. For the record, my wife only suggested we should ask for directions once. I, of course, said no.

It's the small things that make family road trips so great. When we arrived at our first night shanty - and that's being polite - we convinced the kids to go back to sleep so they could have waffles tomorrow morning at the "Continental Breakfast"! The name sounded just regal enough to put them back to sleep with a smile. The next morning, my four year old, Giuseppe whispered me awake with the repeated word: "Waffle? Waffle?"

We did. The joy he got out of sitting in the lobby and picking out his own yogurt, pouring an orange juice out of a machine ("so cool!") and having a perfectly round, hot golden waffle put him firmly in hog heaven.

We moved on to our next hotel, where the Nine Baseball Conference would be held. The hotel was a significant upgrade. The pool immediately had the kids jumping out of their shorts. Grandma and Grandpa's flight arrived and we went to lunch. That night, I was part of a three-person documentary film panel about baseball. It was an excellent discussion.

That night, I had a hard time sleeping. I was very nervous about the next day. I had a press credential to be in the clubhouse of my beloved Oakland A's. I had a plan to talk to certain players who I thought might have an inherent relationship to Boys of Summer. Would they talk to me? What was the proper etiquette for the clubhouse? What if I struck out in my attempts? Would this be a wasted effort? How was my dad feeling? Would my wife be okay with the kids?

Worry, worry, worry. So it goes in the mind of a father, son, and independent filmmaker in a high stakes poker game.

Baseball - my first love

The Boys of Summer - Second Base, sequel to the award-winning first documentary, begins principal photography on March 13, 2014. We need your help. Please visit our kickstarter page and share it with your friends and family.

Legendary sports announcer Jack Buck wrote a great poem about the eternal nature of baseball called “365”. It’s worth clicking on the link for a quick, great read before reading on here.

It’s been a long time since I’ve loved baseball the way Jack suggests he does in this poem. There have been moments – flashes when the game meant everything. I was a “superfan” in the 80’s when baseball represented freedom to me and my friend Jonathan Okanes. That wasn’t just about my beloved A’s being a great team, which they became in the late ‘80’s and early 90’s. No, I watched with every bit of passion those middling teams of the mid-80’s who were led by guys like Dave Kingman, Curt Young and Jay Howell.

How could I love such a bunch of average champs? They were mine. And I saw them at a place that felt like home and freedom all at once. My adopted family of misfit fans lived in left center, back when there were actually bleachers in an Oakland Coliseum that favored an ivy-filled patch over the monstrosity that is Mt. Davis. I listened to Bill King and Lon Simmons call baseball games covertly in my high school classes via a transistor radio with an early, makeshift ear bud run up a long-sleeved shirt.

They were mine. It was young love. The truth of the relationship mattered little to me. The visceral feeling was everything. They were the only of my teams I was a fan of that I actually lived in the same town. The Broncos and Sonics were deeply beloved, but in an age before the Internet, that meant at a deeper distance than most today could likely understand. I grew up with the A’s at my fingertips.

So when I listened on opening day, claiming the pennant for the green and gold, it was tangible. Summers were glorious in the Bay, hot enough to do all of the wonderful things summer-heat implores us to do, but not so hot as to be too miserable not to do it. And sure, the game gave way in fall, to football. My visceral was caught up with my personal insomuch as having played and been deeply impacted by football and basketball, where I left my playing days of baseball behind me in the 7^th grade.

It took a spell longer than Christmastime to get the summer magic back. But when it came back, yes, hot dogs for dinner with nachos for my graduation party and we were all amazed by small hits – some as small and insignificant as one by Carney Lansford that drove in Bruce Bochte for an A’s win that was inconsequential and completely forgettable, most likely, to everyone except me and my pal Jon. We can still do Lon Simmons’ call today – but don’t ask us unless you want to see us laugh and be left, yourself, staring at us wondering why we’re laughing so hard.

The A’s were mine. And it was love. It still is today.

The Boys of Summer - Second Base, sequel to the award-winning first documentary, begins principal photography on March 13, 2014. We need your help. Please visit our kickstarter page and share it with your friends and family.

Boys of Summer Book - Entry #110

You can see the complete film "Boys of Summer" for free by clicking here. 

100% proceeds go to the Michael J Fox Foundation. 

September 16, 2004 - Bob
Las Vegas, NV

Near disaster. Panic. Overwhelmed. I’m not sure if what I’m doing makes sense anymore. I’m going to make a call tomorrow and find out.

Basically, I’m pushing myself like a madman to get this documentary ready for the Sundance deadline (next Thursday, due next Friday). In the interim, I’m going to be back up in the Bay Area Friday through Sunday for my grandfather’s birthday. That leaves me five days to cut the rest of this thing. I must be insane. I...I just really want this film to debut at Sundance this January. What happens if I don’t make the deadline? Is the film hurt? No. Could I hurt myself by trying to edit this way? Yes. I already have in many ways. So why do this? Because it’s what I sometimes do  when I get in too deep.

Tonight, as I was clearing storage space on the external hard drive, the folder with my project files disappeared -- a solid 24 hours of work with no time to make it up. I about cried. I just had a breakthrough today where I finally felt like I began to edit the project with a bit of rhythm.

Then I get a call (it’s 12:30 p.m. and nobody calls with good news at 12:30 p.m., right?). On top of that, I’m worried because Annamaria’s Grandma is in the hospital after major surgery today...

Turns out to be someone just interested in Las Vegas Link, our casting breakdown service. Whew...and kind of weird. She said she thought she’d just get a recording. I wish I would have let the call go through so she would have.

At any rate, my heart’s a bit calmer now as I found that folder and all my files. I’m not going to edit anymore tonight -- just log in some more footage then go to bed.

I need a deep breath and a reevaluation of what I’m doing here...

Oakland 5, Texas 4 (salvaging a split of their 4-game series)
WP: R. Harden (10-6)   LP: K. Rogers (16-8)

I take a breath and remind myself: this too shall pass...
 

Boys of Summer Book - Entry #109

You can see the complete film "Boys of Summer" for free by clicking here. 

100% proceeds go to the Michael J Fox Foundation. 

September 1, 2004 - Bob
Las Vegas, NV

I've begun to look at footage and it is a mixed bag for me. Some things make me happy, some sad. It's always this way in post. There are the memories of the things done well, the opportunities missed, the great times in between, the "didn't we shoot that?" (which, of course, we didn't) and many more. Sometimes I get so wrapped up in my shoots that I see something in my eye and assume it’s on tape or film somewhere. When someone develops that system send me an e-mail (please mark it urgent).

The difference for me here is to remember my “gold” is in the story. We'll have plenty of footage from B-Roll sources (the city's convention centers have been great, sending shots to help us setup our introductions to each place we go).

I have an interview set up for today with an indie film magazine -- I'm very excited about that. Today is the 1st of Sept. -- whoo. I better get back to editing this bad boy to make Sundance’s September 24th deadline (crazy).

Chicago White Sox 5, Oakland 4
WP: S. Takatsu (6-3)   LP: J. Duchscherer (5-5)

September 6, 2004 - Bob
Las Vegas, NV

Almost through the tapes now. There is about 50 hours of footage, all told. Today (hopefully) I will begin dropping the footage into the hard drive. That'll give me just under two weeks to edit a rough cut. It's insane, I know, but I have this feeling...it could be insanity I'm feeling. Hmmm...you may be right, I may be...

At any rate, I'm going forward with this for now. It will be what it will be.

The B-Roll from other cities is fitting in quite nicely, accenting what I've already got (fly overs and helicopter shots were difficult to come by during the trip, ya dig?).

Also, I have an interview with the Michael J. Fox foundation set up for the New York trip we’ll be making at the end of this month. The two Stephen King short films I did, “Luckey Quarter” and “Roland Meets Brown” are going to be part of the first-ever Dollar Baby Film Festival in Orono, Maine at King’s alma mater. I'm still working on interviews with both Stephen and Ken Burns. We'll see...

Boston 8, Oakland 3
WP: B. Arroyo (8-9)   LP: B. Zito (10-10)

Tonight’s loss (above score) burned my ass like almost no other this season. The Sox rivalry is heated from our side for sure because we’re getting our heads kicked in by the Beantowners. Tonight, though, after the stupid ump (Brian Knight, I believe?) missed the fact that Manny Ramirez CLEARLY trapped a crucial hit by Mark Kotsay and instead called him out, the flood gates opened wide.

Now, I know enough to know that a good team gets past plays like that and certainly finds a way to win games like that. Right now, though, I’m not sure if the A’s are a good team. I love these boys and they’re breaking my heart...right on cue.
 

Boys of Summer Book - Entry #102

You can see the complete film "Boys of Summer" for free by clicking here. 

100% proceeds go to the Michael J Fox Foundation. 

Aug. 11, 2004 - Bob
Walnut Creek, CA

Got just a few hours of sleep and woke to the news that my grandfather (dad’s dad) is in the hospital with encephalitis. Apparently it’s quite painful, but not life threatening. This, on top of mom’s health, has really made for a pleasant “wake up and smell the OJ” morning.

Dad and I talk about the practical measures -- are we going to the A’s game today? I feel almost silly asking. Our schedule has us going to the game, then immediately rolling out to Seattle so we can catch our afternoon game there tomorrow (big crowd and big party waiting).

But, in light of everything going on...

Dad decides the A’s game today is a good idea. I’m really glad. I’m hoping this will provide him and I with a little familiar smile. This is our home park. These are our beloved A’s. Jonny O  is covering the game for the local newspaper and maybe we’ll get to see him at the game. The A’s have provided excellent tickets for us (thank you, Detra Page).

So we go...

Aug. 11, 2004 - Dad
Walnut Creek, CA

The next day Bob and I go to the Oakland game and I have to admit I don't think my heart was in it. On top of that the A's got blown out.

Bob:

ONE GAME. We get to see “our boys” for ONE GAME out of the thirty-two we’ve seen (including the AAA in Vegas and the extra game in Houston) and what do they do? Nada. Zip. Three runs of worthlessness vs. 11 TITANIC BOMBS BY THE TIGERS!! Dramatized? Sure. That’s just how it feels.

Jonny O says this is perhaps the worst game they’ve played all year. Glad to be on board, fellas.

We leave early from a game for just the second time on this trip and, though I hate doing it, I think it is the right decision. We’ve got this roadie to Seattle -- a 12-hour jaunt -- staring us dead in the chops and the mental state (for any of us) was not strong to begin with today. As of right now we (and that includes Mom and Emma) are going...I hope that’s the case when we get home.

Park Number 28 (of 30), Networks Associates Coliseum

Detroit 11, Oakland 3
WP: W. Ledezma (2-0)   LP: M. Redman (8-9)

Boys of Summer Book - Entry #101

You can see the complete film "Boys of Summer" for free by clicking here. 

100% proceeds go to the Michael J Fox Foundation. 

August 10, 2004 - Dad
Anaheim, CA

At this point my thoughts kept returning to Walnut Creek and Paulette. I was not sure what to expect but indications were that she was not doing well. Before the Anaheim game we had a great meal and gathering at the local BJ's. The pizza was great. The Big "A" is a very nice park and there was a good crowd on hand for a beautiful summer evening.

Park Number 27 (of 30), Angel Stadium

Baltimore 11, Anaheim 3
WP: D. Cabrera (9-5)   LP: A. Sele (7-1)

Oak 5, Det 4 -- woo hoo!

Aug. 11, Oakland - Bob
Walnut Creek, CA

We made it home at about 4 AM -- just about 6 hours from Anaheim; not bad time. We stopped for an ice cream or two on the way -- dad has developed a SERIOUS sweet tooth.

We have a running bet on who’s going to greet us first as we come through the door. I thought it would be our dog, Emma. Dad thought it would be mom.

We opened the door and it is...mom by a hair -- nice watch-doggin’, Emma. The poor little mop actually fell off the bed and thumped against the wall. Grace was never her strong suit.

The reunion with mom was bittersweet. She’s very happy and yet obviously in pain. Listening to her cry as she held my dad broke my heart. I knew this had been hard on her. I knew it was hard on my dad in some ways, too.

I began to question if this whole thing was really worth it.

Of course it was, a side of me argued. This was a dream come true for Dad and me and mom signed off on it.

But at what cost?

That’s something I don’t think I’ll ever know. It simply is what it is. We made a decision to do this, each of us. It was heavily discussed and agreed upon, despite the risks. The timing simply was what it was and now is what it is. Now -- right now -- is all we have.

A friend once told me, “you may not get everything you pay for, but you’ll pay for everything you’ll get.”

August 10, 2004 - Dad
Walnut Creek, CA

The drive from Los Angeles to Walnut Creek is a very familiar one and despite being tired from a long day, it goes very quickly. We arrive home at __am and are greeted by our dog, Emma and down the hall, Paulette. It is good to be home but difficult to face the fact that Paulette continues to struggle with depression. I know from past experience that it dose not affect her if I'm there or not. Depression is a very isolating condition.
 

Boys of Summer Book - Entry #69

You can see the complete film "Boys of Summer" for free by clicking here. 
100% proceeds go to the Michael J Fox Foundation. 


Interviewing Doug Payzant

BC:

Do you remember the first time you and Todd went to a ball game together?

DP:

I can remember it. It was in Oakland, it was the most phenomenal experience. Because we had a tailgate party. There was you and your father, your family, my family. We walked in and we had the time of our lives. It was a super  experience. 

BC:

So Todd was all of about 10?

DP:

Yes.

BC:

What was Todd like as a player?

DP:

I started him too early. He was a good -- very solid player. Had all the functionality, was able to move left, right, was able to read the ball but he was about two years too young. 

BC:

How do you know that?

DP:

Because he couldn’t relate to the other players on the field because they were two years his senior. He was that good in his abilities. It broke my heart though because there were plays that were put on him and there were just “young issues” that crept up on him. He was  a great baseball player, he still is. He’s everything that I wish I could be. 

BC:

Would he have been a better player had he waited?

DP:

Well, I should have kept him back into a junior league where he would have really excelled. I, like a lot of parents, had a lot of ego and he was good and people pushed me and we brought him up.

BC:

What was the relationship like with you as coach as well as father?

DP:

I was never the direct coach, I was always the assistant coach. And we had a few issues simply because, and this is going to sound real bad, I firmly believe I know how to read talent. And reading talent, you have to understand the capabilities and the non-capabilites, regardless of if it’s family, coach’s son, etc. I did not agree that the coach’s son should get preferential treatment and that’s where I got into issues.  However, it never happened with Todd. Todd played where he liked playing and that happened through discussions with him at that age. What was he comfortable with? He did not like pitching. But he loved short stop, loved third base. He loved second base. And he moved on the ball accordingly.

BC:

Did you go to ball games with your dad when you were a kid?

DP:

Nope. We didn’t have baseball in Canada.

BC:

When was your introduction to baseball?

DP:

When I first joined the bank. The only way to meet my peers outside of the office setting was in the bank league. Softball -- not baseball. Then we go drink a couple of beers and go home. 

BC:

What do you think about people who say that baseball is an American game?

DP:

I think baseball definitely is an American game. Growing up in Canada, baseball (until you get to the big cities) is not an experience. However, softball is a huge experience. And it is all over Canada. Baseball is selective. We came back from the states and we had baseball coaches that still tried to teach softball attitudes.  That bothered me. I was an umpire because that was the closest I wanted to get. I didn’t like the politics. 

However, baseball in Canada, the big leagues...we had a team in Toronto known as the Blue Jays, the best damned team in baseball and they were two years in a row (1992 & 1993 World Series Champions). Guess what happened? After we won two World Series, we disbanded that very team. My question is, why did we disband when we had multiple seasons of full attendance. 54,000 people every game of the year. The number one attendance record in America. And guess what? We disbanded the team. My question is, and it’s very simple, were they told that baseball has to go back into America?

BC:

So it couldn’t have been an economic issue because they were selling out...

DP:

Absolutely. And did baseball want to back to get back to Chevrolet, Apple pie...

BC:

We had the strike. How much did that have to do with it?

DP:

Nothing. I don’t believe in that. I believe that higher powers said that there are higher powers that said there are more people in America, baseball is an American sport -- which it is...well, I don’ t know whether or not that is where it was born, but, it did go back to America. And guess what? We’ve been the Blow Jays ever since. 

BC:

What was it like for Todd when you moved the family back to Canada?

DP:

As a teenager, he did his own thing, as most teenage boys do. But I was never a more proud father than when he was playing baseball...softball...to just go out and watch him do his thing. He was so much better than I ever was. And I was just so proud that I had created this being that could do what he did and do it so effectively. 

BC:

Now that you’re a grandfather (of his new son as well as your daughters children), what do you think he is going through?

DP:

He has said it and he has said it in spades he wants me to be proud. And you think I’m not proud? I might cry. Yeah I’m proud. My son’s got a beautiful wife. He’s got a beautiful life. And they’re going to have a baby. And I’m excited. Whatever comes is sort of “que ser a, ser a”.

BC:

You said one of the things you had to learn as a father was to say, “I love you”.

DP:

One of the biggest problems that fathers have with their sons, especially when sons go awry, is to get past the madness and still tell them that you love them. I’ve always loved him. I never liked Todd during his “off years”, but I always loved him. And until I showed him and told him that I loved him, we were still apart. But once I told him I loved him, he has never left my side. 

BC:

Tell me about that night that he got up and spoke in front of everyone.

DP:

Our 25th wedding anniversary, he was unexpectedly challenged in front of a group of about 80 people, in a backyard/swimming pool setting. And he said, in essence, I’ve been away, I’ve done a lot of things that I’m not proud of and I am now home and I want to be to my father what he was to his father. And everyone said, “What’s that?” And he said, “Best friends”. I told him I loved him and I’ve never lost him. 

BC:

Talk to me about the first time you met my dad.

DP:

Your father is a treat...I’ll never forget, the first time I met him, watching him struggle with his 8-track tape, which he could not get to feed properly. And I saw a side of your father that nobody has ever seen since. This man got -- he was going to kill that tape. But that was all that he could ever kill. 

He was the funniest, most laid back individual that I had ever met in my life. And with that, I’m a very aggressive individual. And, you’d think that two opposites would be relatively slow to warm up. And we were, but as we started to see the values of each other, and we both have values, he saw stuff that he could draw from with me and I with him. Our sons and daughters were relatively the same age so he was drawing parallels -- how do you do this? How do you do that? Not that he was going to take whatever I said to be correct. But it was just a checkboard, a balance board. And we were both working in the finance industry. Duh. Does it take much more? 

It’s just a slow-burning, acknowledged friendship. He is one of the nicest guys I’ve ever met. He, to me, at times becomes a controlling influence because, as I said, I’m the aggressive type. He’s just a good friend. I respect him to the nth. He is a s smart as a whip. I can bounce questions off him. And if he doesn’t know, he’ll find out, he’ll come back. And vice versa. We don’t challenge each other. But then we do challenge each other -- what are you doing? How are you doing this? 

When we moved away, it broke my heart. Boys do not make close friends if they do at all. It felt like I broke up with a girlfriend when I went back to Canada. Call it simple. That’s all I am. We’ve kept in touch. We’ve vacationed together. We enjoy each other’s company and there’s never a ruffle. And when I heard about your mother and then about your father we were dumbstruck. Your mother is now getting solidly better. Your father, we know where he is with his Parkinson’s. I just  hope and pray that I can bring the joys to his life that he deserves. 

BC:

First time you saw my dad after hearing he had been diagnosed (with PD), what were the changes you noticed?

DP:

I saw the slowness move in. I saw the arm. I saw -- did I see anything else? The look -- definitely. Sort of a stare. Like me when I’m in a trance. He would focus on something and he would stare at it and it would be a total stare but he heard everything around him. But he was locked in. 

However, I have to tell you, as a trooper, both of us were equal handicaps in California and we were good golfers together. You know what, I give him a few strokes now. But you know what ? The S.O.B. still beats me. He is, even with his malady, will never give up. Together we found a chipping phenomenon. We found his small motor muscles do not react effectively with his brain. He does a lot of chunking, a lot of skulling. What I suggested he do is take a putting stroke which uses big arm muscles. Guess what? He emailed me that he had won a tournament with a partner in San Francisco and he said, you know what? Your tip worked. We won the whole damned thing. Those are friends. I was elated. Just for him, the excitement. 

He has taken himself with his PD, he doesn’t want people to be sad for him. He just wants to be there, he wants to be Dan, proud Dan. And proud Dan -- I had him working so hard when he came up here. But guess what? I couldn’t have done anything without him. And that’s proud Dan. He wants to be proud of who he is, where he is regardless of what he is. 

BC:

You obviously love him, if for whatever reason, this was the last time you got to see him, have you said everything you wanted to say?

DP:

I’ve always said everything I wanted to say. There’s nothing I ever hold back. I kiss him. Simple as that. 

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100% proceeds go to the Michael J Fox Foundation.