Purpose, Pain and Passion

The Boys of Summer roll along, but we need your help to complete this year's journey. Please see our site for the latest on how to contribute. Thank you!

I have learned, watching my father this spring and summer, new highs and lows. I've also been reminded of the power of these three P's: Purpose, Pain and Passion. In 2004, I was struck by my father's desire to be physically handy whenever he could. Whether it was mowing the lawn at the family reunion Lake Sawyer, WA, assisting a friend with a house repair in Toronto, ONT or staining the deck when he returned home, he took great pride in his ability to do his part. He said these actions gave him purpose and made him feel a part of something larger than himself.

Over the last few years, my dad has experienced greater and more debilitating chronic pain than he's ever known. As I've written about previously, the tilt in his back has progressively gotten worse to the point where sometimes he simply didn't want to get up. As a man who has made his identity via much of his physicality, staying down doesn't add up. The sadness and emptiness I saw creeping into his eyes in the spring when he confided in me how bad the pain had gotten, and my dad is the absolute last guy to complain about pain, was enough to stop me in my tracks. Pain is a great mitigator. Yes, some people have higher thresholds than others, but everyone has a break point. I don't know if my dad was near his, but I'm extremely glad that due to his treatment, he's not looking over that cliff anymore.

Which brings me to the last P: Passion. The ability to have passion is predicated on keeping pain to a tolerable level and understanding a purpose with which to direct it. Rudderless passion floats aimlessly. My dad has many passions, among them golf and cooking. Because his pain is being better managed (I don't mean to infer he's pain-free, but he's in a far better place than when he began), he is freed up to pursue these passions anew. He has a new look at food and what it means to his health. He will meet the desire to have that food taste a certain way and stay within his guidelines via his passion for cooking and creating. Golf, too, can be explored with a new consciousness due to his improved posture and the lessons he's been taking this summer -- the first he's taken in well over twenty years.

He's not a new man, exactly, but he does have redefined purpose, reduced pain, and renewed passions. Not bad for a summer vacation.

The Boys of Summer roll along, but we need your help to complete this year's journey. Please see our site for the latest on how to contribute. Thank you!