My dad is twisted

Warning: today's post has a few R-rated words. 

This blog continues its path, sharing the inside details of the follow up to the award-winning 

documentary, "Boys of Summer". For more details, to watch the film or contribute to the sequel,

please click here.

For those who know my dad, this isn't new information. Whether literally (as his back now tilts at a 55 degree angle, therefore causing his lower spine to twist to attempt to compensate since his upper spine hasn't tilted back like it has for most with scoliosis), or figuratively in his joke-telling. Let's go with the joke-telling first as that's a bit more fun.

Ten years ago, when we made our epic Boys of Summer baseball journey, the running joke (more of saying really) in moments of surprise from my dad was "I've been to three county fairs and a goat fuck and I ain't seen nothin' like this." Charming, right? The joke this time is much more poop-directed. As my dad says, "I've got a lot of shit in my life". Now before you think my dad as a sailor with a paritcularly heavy blue streak, one of the elements of humor is in surprise - he's quiet. So when he sneaks in a one-liner, he almost always delivers.

So here's the 2014 running joke: A guy back in the 1950's named Charlie had a special talent - he could whistle zippedy-do-da out of his ass hole. He was mostly small time as he had accepted this level of talent would only take him so far. Well, lo and behold. one day the Ed Sullivan show came calling. Charlie got on the show. Ed Sullivan calls him out on the stage. Charlie promptly dropped his pants, then dropped a big turd on the stage. He got the hook. Ed grabbed Charlie and said "What the hell do you think you're doing?!" Charlie said, "Geez, can't a guy clear his throat?"

I'll wait...

Today Dr. DeMartino went over the results of the x-ray he took of my dad's back yesterday. My dad's number one complaint (and he rarely complains) is that the pain from the severe tilt in his back, keeps him from doing what he wants to do (e.g. golf), draws unwanted attention (pretty much any attention), and scares him in regard to the long-standing wheel chair prognosis given to him at his first meeting with his first Neurologist back in the summer of 2001.

Dr. DeMartino said that my dad's tilt, at 55 degrees, is one of the most severe he's ever seen. That's both comforting and unnerving. What's more on the comforting side, however, is that Dr. DeMartino feels he'll be able to somewhat correct the tilt. He does not think dad will be straight again. He's said this from the beginning, so that's no surprise. But, Dr. D. continues, every degree of straightening will offer significant relief. This is a multifaceted process. There very well may be scar tissue in the way. That will be broken down, but Dr. D. (wisely, in my opinion) insists this must be done slowly. He also says there will need to be regeneration. That can be aided by microcurrent and light therapies. As science fiction as the therapies as the ideas might seem, we shouldn't be nearly as in awe of the idea of regeneration as we seem to be. We've been doing it since we've been a species. The thing is we haven't looked close enough to understand it. Our bodies regenerate cells, tissue and muscle all the time. We have to get out of the way of our bodies in order for this to occur at the highest level. One of the best ways to get out of the way? Stop directly putting in things (eating, drinking and unnecessary pharmaceuticals) that gum up the process. Having an effect doesn't necessarily equate to understanding that effect on its whole level. Here's what we do know, but don't necessarily believe: the body is not a dumb piece of meat. It is active. It is vibrant. It is living and responds to everything we do to it (via omission and commission). My dad's health is living proof of the dynamics the body is capable of. My mom, who has been down here for the past two weeks and at all of the appointments, is in awe of Dr. D. and is convinced of the progress she's seen in my dad in terms of his level of engagement, presence and energy. It's worth noting he's sleeping very well (something he's struggled with for many years) and hasn't taken a sleeping pill since he's begun this work.

So now we begin the process of straightening out some of that twist. But don't worry, my dad will still undoubtedly talk about goat fucks and tell shit jokes. That's just who he is.